Connection
If you have started learning tango or already dance tango, you have undoubtedly heard a lot about "connection". What exactly is this elusive thing we are all trying to create, to feel, to use?
A myriad of ideas
Depending on who you ask to define the tango connection, you might find drastically different answers. Some say it's simple, others say it's complex or something we can't define or fully understand, other say it's physical, a sensation, an energy, and others say it's emotional experience. As always with tango, all of the answers are right...
Connection is multidimensional
Connection is... like... something.
Connection is multidimensional. It occurs on simultaneously on levels or layers. It's layered like... an onion. And it makes you cry? No no.... It's like an egg! Um... hard to crack? Boiled eggs are not sensual though... Connection is more like chocolate layer cake... cut in 4 pieces! Yes, exactly like chocolate cake!
Like the cake in the picture, connection has two layers and is divided into four big yummy pieces. There is a physical layer and emotional layer, and each piece of myself, my partner, the music, and the space exist in both layers.
Though we concentrate on what we are feeling or getting from the connection, we should focus much more on what we are giving, and on our role in creating the connection.
Myself
The physical connection with self is first and foremost, this means feeling the floor with your feet, legs, and core, just like when you are peddling a bike. Through your core, you need to feel both feet on the floor. Awareness of all of yourself is also important so that you can adjust whatever is necessary, like your embrace, the density of your movement, or length of your steps for example, in order to maintain connection. Physical connection to yourself is the most important piece of the physical connection layer of cake, because it impacts every other kind of connection. It is also the most difficult to reach because it is technically demanding.
The emotional connection we need from ourselves is the ability to go inside and draw something that we want (or need) to express. But it's not just any emotion - it's not the anger ignited by a coworker earlier in the day. You must leave all that crap behind. Tango erases and neutralizes all those fleeting emotions, and gives you access to emotion more fundamental and enduring. It is like going in 'the zone' where you and your partner and the music meet inside YOU - but you need to go inside to get it!
One more aspect of emotional connection is that you must trust yourself, though this is not something automatic and arbitrary. I wouldn't say I could jump off a cliff if I just trust myself. There is an action of trusting, and a feeling of trusting.
In tango, you need the feeling of trust. The mere action of trust will not result in connection.
It implies you put in the work so that you can trust yourself. Practice and then use only what you do well, and feel confident in it. This will allow all the other kinds of connection to happen. Just like with physical connection, the piece of emotional connection chocolate cake that is the most difficult to reach is the SELF piece!
My Partner
The physical connection with your partner takes your core-floor connection and shows it to your partner through the embrace. It also receives the same from your partner. Connection to your partner essentially means using the embrace effectively: a) being aware of where you are sharing energy in the embrace, and b) maintaining the embrace in all directions at all times. This is not as overwhelming as it first seems! These are real skills you can practice to develop into reactions that are second nature. The key word is practice. There are many exercises to develop connection to partner! Ask your teachers!
The emotional connection you have with your partner is often misunderstood in tango. We do not have to feel any sort of romance or affection of any kind toward a partner. What emotional connection to a partner means first, is awareness. What info am I getting from this person and how do I feel about this? Did you decide to dance with a random person thoughtlessly because you were eager to dance and now are in an awkward embrace with a partner you seem not to be able to dance with? If you don't realize these feelings, you could waste months or years with a terrible connection and never really know why.
Secondly, connection to your partner requires trust. To be deeply and fully connected, both people need to trust each other. This does not mean you should trust everyone automatically. Just be aware of how much you feel you can trust this person and why. Good technique allows trust to happen, but something else that can help is that YOU to try to make your partner comfortable. If she of he moves in an awkward or uncomfortable way, it's very possible it is because of you! Try to make them comfortable in your embrace and confident that you will play your role actively and sincerely.
The Music
Physical connection with the music means that you step clearly on the beat. A step, by the way, means the release of your weight. Additionally, the energy level of your movement (speed, step size, density) should match the energy the music is conveying. The music is there to help you to move together which is why it is considered a part of connection.
An emotional connection with the music means that it makes you feel something, and you want to express what you feel. Does the rhythm make you happy? Does the melody make your heart ache? Whatever it is, you and your partner should be able to share these sentiments through your collaborated movement. This is really the reasons dancers dance. We have sentiment inside, and we are looking for a way release it. You might feel you understand where the composer was coming from, or why your partner is moving this way. Without this connection to the music, we are just using the beat like a metronome to measure out our steps, and our movement is just exercise. Music should be much more than your metronome, it should be your inspiration to dance!
The Space
Being connected, on a physical level, to the space means you know how much room you have, where the limits are, and how much space others need. You can use eye contact with another couple to say things like excuse me, may I get in this space next to you, sorry I got a little close to you, no problem, that's ok, etc. You are aware of how fast you need to go in order to maintain the flow in the line of dance, of everyone around you and how they are moving on the floor (safely and smoothly or randomly and uncontrollably) so you can adjust your movement accordingly. It may seem unrelated to sharing energy with your partner, but compare dancing to driving - how could you possible say you have control over your car if you are hitting pedestrians, buildings and other drivers. Could you say "Except for hitting shit, I'm at one with my car."?? You and your partner are at one, and everyone on the dance floor is at one.
On the level of emotional connection, there is a vibe at a milonga, and we need to be sensitive to the energy in the room and go with it, just like in any social situation, if we want to 'belong' and have an authentic experience. But more specifically to this case, ideally when you are comfortable in the milonga, you might feel like you are dancing with the entire room or the entire universe even. What some people talk about is that in their body, at a cellular level, at a subatomic level, electrons are spinning around nuclei, and blood is cycling in their body through their veins, and they are spinning on axis, and turning with their partner, and all the couples are spinning around the dance floor, and the earth is turning, and everything is going around the sun, and the universe is spinning and everyone and everything is connected in the music, and we can connect to god, or the source of all energy, or the powers of the universe, and feel the divinity in the moment - so this is what an emotional connection to your space could feel like!